Kikibooba™ Dirty Jokes and Off-Color Humor
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.
He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that 'I' am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And, when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
"The fucking funeral director," said his wife.
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive
redhead woman arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the
dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
completely nude." With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and
yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!" Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON!" She
jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. She then picked up all the
money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at each other
dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other
answered, "I don't know I thought YOU were watching!" !
I hate those hoax warnings, but this one is important!
Send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list. If you are female,
warn your husband or significant other.
If a woman comes to your front door saying she is conducting a survey
and asks you to show her your penis, do not show her your penis.
This is a scam: she only wants to see your penis.
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday.
I feel so stupid and cheap.
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